


Walk Through Fire For You

by purple_charlie



Series: Singer's Books [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Gabriel, Everyone is Queer, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Marijuana Use, Polyamory, Pride, booksellers au, gay cas, horrible homophobic parents, horrible homophobic siblings, modern AU no magic no monsters, poly charlie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27737020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_charlie/pseuds/purple_charlie
Summary: Boyfriend.The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout  from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Rowena MacLeod, Gabriel/Kali (Supernatural)
Series: Singer's Books [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028913
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	Walk Through Fire For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is intended to be part of a much larger AU. Basically Bobby owns a book store called Singers and the whole SPN crew works there or is involved. This was rattling around my head and came out of my keyboard much faster than any of the beginning parts.

Dean feels like he’s in a _movie_.

There’s glitter everywhere, he’s going to be scrubbing it out of his hair for _days_ , and the flashing lights of the club are making everyone look ethereal and otherworldly. Everyone is dancing like their bones are liquid, and the heat and solid presence of Cas’ body behind him makes Dean feel like his skin is carbonated. 

Or that could just be the edible talking. 

Charlie and Row are dancing with a blue-haired girl sandwiched between them, and Gabe and Kali are undulating together like they’re about to have sex on the dancefloor any minute. With the way Cas’ hands are heavy on his hips and the insistent way he’s grinding against Dean’s ass, Dean doesn’t blame them. He turns in Cas’ hold, sliding his hands up Cas’ arms and resting his forehead on his boyfriend’s sweat-slick one. 

_Boyfriend_.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. _Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy._ It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths. 

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my _boyfriend_.

Dean glances up, focusing on Cas’ eyes, and finds Cas staring at him, those heavenly blue eyes glittering. Cas’ hands slide down to rest on Dean’s ass, pulling them even closer together, forcing Dean to slot one leg between Cas’ own. In this position, it’s abundantly clear how much Cas is enjoying this, his cock a hot hard line against Dean’s thigh. Dean’s not faring any better, he’d been sporting a chub ever since Cas walked into the kitchen that morning in shorts that clung to his ass _just so_ , his toned arms bare in the gray [Sioux Falls Pride tank top](https://www.siouxfallspride.org/collections/pins/products/rainbow-buffalo-short-sleeve-tank-sioux-falls-pride) Charlie had bought him last year. 

Watching him walk around the festival today had been torture. Sweet pale Cas had immediately started to sweat in the summer heat, his cheeks turning pink despite how much sunscreen Charlie slathered on him. All Dean had wanted to do for the whole day was lick away the sweat gathering in the hollow of Cas’ throat. Knowing that he could do that, that Cas would accept it, even want it, made Dean’s head spin. This poetry writing, piano playing, quick-witted goddamn genius was _his_. Dean was the one who got to tuck his hand into Cas’ back pocket, who got to kiss away the chocolate smears at the corner of his mouth when he ate a donut, who would get to go home and fall asleep next to Cas tonight. 

Dean’s life rocks. Which is not a thought he’s used to having.

Cas grins as the song changes, but Dean is too lost in Cas’ eyes to really register what it is. He hasn’t recognized most of the music tonight anyway. As long as he got to sway in Cas’ arms, he didn’t care what the hell was coming out of the speakers. It sounds vaguely familiar, like something Charlie listens to in the shower. Cas knows it though, and starts humming along, chest rumbling against Dean’s and sending a shiver down his spine and into his cock. Cas tucks his chin over Dean’s shoulder again and starts to sing along, lips brushing Dean’s ear. Dean is suddenly glad Cas is holding him up, because the soft brush of Cas’ mouth on the shell of his ear makes Dean’s knees weak.

“ _I’d walk through fire for you, just let me adore you, like it's the only thing I’ll ever do_.” 

The words sink into Dean’s high, overheated brain, and the first thought that pops into his head drops out of his mouth.

“I love you.”

Cas hums questioningly, tilting his head closer to Dean’s mouth, and Dean finds himself grinning against Cas’ skin. He feels like he’s floating, and he doesn’t care if it’s the weed talking.

“ _I love you_.”

Cas freezes, fingers digging painfully into the meat of Dean’s ass. Ice drops down Dean’s back, but before he has the time to react, Cas is dragging them off the dance floor. Dean stumbles along, gripping Cas’ hand like a lifeline, cold, clammy fear swirling through his brain. 

The muggy summer air has barely cooled off, even though it’s been dark for a couple hours, and Dean realizes his t-shirt is stuck to his back with sweat as Cas pushes through the door. Cas pulls him along the side of the warehouse the party is in before ducking into an alley. Dean opens his mouth to backtrack, say he’s too high to know what he’s saying, that it was the lights or the glitter or something, but before he can, Cas has shoved Dean against the brick wall. They’re chest to chest, just like they were in the warehouse, and sometimes Dean forgets how tall Cas actually is, but now they’re almost nose to nose, panting the same air. Silence echoes between them.

“I-I’m sorry.” Cas rasps, shaking his head and taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to- I just.” He looks up at Dean, and those blue eyes are big and sparkling in the buzzing light of the streetlights. 

“It’s ok, you dont-” Dean looks down, swallows past the lump in his throat. His dad’s face swims to the front of his mind, sneering around a beer bottle. He feels nauseous. He knows it’s not the weed this time. If anything he feels sober now. “You don’t gotta say it back.”

Some kind of creature skitters along the alleyway in the dark, partygoers fall out of the warehouse, laughing, and Dean stares at his shoes, scuffs his toes. It’s quiet long enough that he looks up at Cas, a frown pulling at his lips, but it falls when he sees Cas’ face.

Cas is _crying_.

“Hey, no, what, c’mon, man!” Dean mumbles, stepping forward, holding out his hands, afraid to touch. Cas lets out a little choking noise and grabs at Dean, slamming into him. Dean cradles Cas’ head on his shoulder, locks his arm around Cas’ waist. He angles them further into the dark of the alley, tucks Cas between himself and the same wall Cas had pushed him into. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Cas sniffles, reaching up to scrub at his eyes. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean huffs, squeezing Cas’ waist. “Not what I expected, but it’s better than you decking me.”

Cas laughs wetly, shakes his head.

“I feel very foolish. You just told me you love me and first I shove you against a wall like some brute and then start crying.” 

Dean chuckles. His panic has lifted, but it’s lingering under his skin like a swarm of bees. Cas pulls away, looks up at Dean with his fierce blue eyes. He just stares for a moment, lips parted.

“I’m not angry.” He says slowly, “I might be a bit scared, but I’m not upset.” 

Dean wishes he was a cartoon so Cas could see the cloud of question marks around his head. Thankfully his facial expression seems to be enough, because Cas lets out a self-deprecating chuckle and smiles. 

“You’re making the same face you make when I try to explain apiculture or poetry to you.”

“Sorry, I just- you seemed pretty upset!” 

Cas laughs again, wiping at his face again.

“Dean, I know I haven't told you much about my life before I came to Sioux Falls. How I came to join my brother and Kali here.”

Dean shakes his head, glancing out at the entrance to the alleyway when a gaggle of drunken revelers trips by. His hackles go up for a moment, but are instantly soothed by the warm weight of Cas’ hand on his collarbone. He looks back at Cas and a bit of the same floating feeling from the dance floor comes over him when he sees the look in Cas’ eyes.

“Our family was-is- very...” Cas scowls, eyes flicking about, “Traditional.” He says slowly. Dean scoffs. Around here that was a polite way of saying your family was rednecks or racists. Or both.

“They were not happy that Gabriel wanted to marry Kali. She wasn’t the ‘right type of person,’ according to our mother.” 

“Was that code for ‘not the right color’?” Dean sneers. Cas grimaces and nods. 

“Our parents nearly disowned him when they found him half dressed with another boy from the lacrosse team in high school, but when he came out as bisexual, our older brother Michael convinced them it was just a phase and that Gabriel would end up with a woman anyway.” 

Dean feels a very visceral need to punch Michael in the face. 

“Gabriel is only three years older than me, so when I realized I was gay in high school, he was the first person I came out to.” Cas smiles fondly, tipping his head back against the brick. “I sure as hell couldn't have told Michael or Naomi. Michael would have immediately told our parents, and Naomi would have tried to send me to one of those pray the gay away camps.”

“Remind me to kick your siblings in the ass if I ever meet them.” Dean growls, lip curling. The low light almost hides it, but Dean catches the pink flooding Cas’ cheeks.

“That’s very violent, but very gallant of you.” Cas leans forward and pecks Dean’s top lip, and the swarm of bees gets smaller. “Gabriel kept his relationships with other men under wraps in college, just to save himself the trouble of dealing with our parents. He never brought anyone home, of any gender, until he walked into Christmas with Kali on his arm. Mother and Father were only passive aggressive about it until Gabriel asked Father for an old family ring to propose to Kali with.” 

Dean feels the shudder pass through Cas’ body, and he snuggles closer, nudging his shoulders under Cas’ arms. Cas leans against him, sighing heavily. His hands tangle in Dean’s shirt, and Dean doesn’t say anything for the moments it takes Cas to compose himself, face hidden in Dean’s neck. 

“It was the biggest fight I’d ever seen Father and Gabriel get into. Gabriel had hidden his heart for so long, locked away whole pieces of himself to gain their approval, but I think he finally saw that nothing he did would ever compare to the perfect children Michael and Naomi, with their perfect straight white spouses and 2.5 children.”

Cas’ voice has taken on a cold, bitter edge, and his hands tighten in Dean’s shirt. 

“As Gabriel was storming out with Kali, I knew what I needed to do. I knew that no matter what I did, if I lived my truth, they would never accept me. I would never get to bring someone I loved to Christmas dinner, or to Fourth of July parties, or even just a weekend at the family lake house.” Cas swallows, and his voice goes thick. “I went upstairs, sent Gabriel a text message, and packed my bags. I gathered my parents and my older siblings and I told them. I told them I was gay, and I loved being gay, and that if they couldn’t accpet the fact that Gabriel loved a woman of color, then I knew they would never accept me.” 

A wet patch is slowly spreading on Dean’s shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows there’s nothing he could say. 

“Just as I was leaving, Michael-” Cas chokes down a sob, “Michael said that the ‘lifestyle’ I was going into was only about sex, and perversion, that I was turning my back on God’s plan. That I was a freak and that no one would ever love me.” 

Cas' voice cracks, and he lets go, sobbing into Dean’s neck. Dean tightens his hold on Cas, slides his fingers into dark hair damp with sweat. Tears are sliding down his cheeks, and he bizarrely wonders if there’s glitter in them. 

After a few minutes, Cas settles, hiccuping. He breathes slowly, nuzzles his nose under Dean’s chin before pulling away, staring up at Dean with blue eyes blazing.

“I came to Sioux Falls after travelling for a few years. Got the job at Singer’s.” Cas smiles shakily, and Dean’s heart sings. “And I met you. Found our weird, wonderful family. Our family that is so much more loving and accepting and true than the people I’m genetically connected to.” 

“Family don’t end in blood.” Dean murmurs, resting his forehead on Cas’ again. 

“And you saying that, just now, Dean, it-” Cas lets out a shaky breath, grabbing at the short hair on the back of Dean’s head. “It really proved to me that everything my horrible family said, every close minded, bigoted belief they had, it was all wrong.”

Cas closes the small distance between them, kissing Dean fiercely. The scruff on their faces rasps together, and Dean can’t hold back a little moan when Cas flickers his tongue against Dean’s lips. Cas pulls away far too soon for Dean’s liking, chuckling when Dean tries to follow his mouth.

“Say it again. Please. Say it so I can hear you.”

Dean pulls back, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. He tucks his thumb underneath Cas’ full bottom lip, dragging his finger along its soft curve.

“I love you.” 

Cas squeezes his eyes shut, tears leaking out the corners, and Dean replaces his thumb with his mouth, kissing Cas slow and deep. 

“I love you.” He says again, lips brushing against Cas’. He repeats it over and over between kisses, holding Cas as he shakes in Dean’s arms. 

“I love you too.”


End file.
